


Falling, fallen

by silvervelour



Series: Hush money, baby [3]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: F/F, jealous vanessa, meeting the friends!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-24 06:01:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19717663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvervelour/pseuds/silvervelour
Summary: “I want you to meet Nina”. Brooke blurts.Vanessa regards her with a frown, and then a grin.“Ok”. She beams.“She invited us to her place next weekend, you in?”.Brooke pulls Vanessa down next to her on the couch with a tug of her hand. A groan of protest leaves Vanessa’s lips. She’s too warm, and so is Brooke, but she sprawls out atop of her anyway. Her legs are kicked over the arm of said couch and she licks slowly at the popsicle that’s melting blue down her wrist.





	Falling, fallen

**Author's Note:**

> another little segment from the hush money verse! I have another part planned after this that's just smut, but if you have anything else you want to see then hit me up on Tumblr!!
> 
> this one features a bit of Brooke and nina's back story, a jealous Vanessa and a lot of friendship! 
> 
> also me? posting something that's not E rated? that's a change lol

_Fifteen years before Brooke meets Vanessa, she gets drunk with Nina in her college dorm room._

“How’d you get your hands on fuckin’ tequila?”.

“Never heard of a fake ID, west?”.

_They’ve known each other for six months, maybe._

_They’re in all of the same classes, live across the hall from each other. They’re both planning careers in finance and both rely on unhealthy amounts of caffeine to get them through the days. Brooke is reliable and Nina is too -_

_\- But they’re also polar opposites._

_Nina is an unbound book, and Brooke keeps her pages under lock and key. It takes until that night for Brooke to come out to her, whisper through drunken tears that she’s gay, likes women._

_The acceptance that follows is reminiscent of every act of kindness that Nina’s shown her since they’ve known each other. She wraps Brooke in her arms and tells her that_ it’s ok, _kisses at her temple reassuringly. Brooke scrunches her eyes closed but Nina’s words stick with her._

_They never leave, after that._

_*****_

_Ten years before Brooke meets Vanessa, Nina is crying in an alley way behind a bar._

_It’s meant to be a celebration but Brooke knows it can’t be that way when Nina is hanging off of her arm, mascara staining her white shirt. Nina looks up at her apologetically and their new positions within the company don’t matter; Nina’s closing her eyes and the pain is evident._

_Brooke kisses her as if it’ll make her forget everything, and she thinks it works._

_It’s meant to be a celebration, but Nina’s heart is in shards of bottle glass on the floor and Brooke wants to put them back together._

_Nina tells her to take her home, and Brooke agrees wordlessly. She lays Nina down in her bed, kisses her and kisses her until Nina’s tears stop rolling. She worships Nina’s body in the way that Brooke knows that she deserves, picks up each fragment and glues them back together._

_She cuts her hands to shreds but it doesn’t matter._

“Stay, don’t leave”.

“I’m not going anywhere”.

_Nina is ok so she will be, too._

_*****_

_Five years before Brooke meets Vanessa, Brooke finds out that’s not how it works._

_She’s not in love with Nina, doubts she ever will be, but she is her best friend. And her heart aches for the woman that would do anything for her. Nina’s words still stick with her_ \- it’ll be ok - _but Brooke doubts it when the cycle repeats itself._

“We should go out tonight”.

“If that’s what you want”. 

_They get drunk at a bar that they’ve started to frequent on the Upper East side. Nina orders wine and Brooke opts for a martini because that’s what they like. There are confessions of another woman that Nina knows that she can’t have, and a reassuring shoulder to cry on._

_Brooke gives it to her and offers up herself somewhere along the line. They end the night in Brooke’s bed with cups of herbal tea that do nothing to calm the thunder that’s beating against the windows of her apartment and Nina’s chest. Nina stays the night anyway and Brooke awakens the following morning to a gentle_ thank you _and a kiss on her forehead._

_It doesn’t happen again._

_Brooke makes head of the company six months later, and Nina’s at her side. Brooke says that she won’t, can’t do it without her. Nina agrees when the offer is proposed and they’re stronger than Brooke thinks they’ve ever been._

_A plaque is nailed to the outside wall of the building; Hytes & West._

_*****_

_A year before Brooke meets Vanessa, Brooke almost cries to Nina in her office._

_Almost._

_It takes another year for it to actually happen, and in that time their company blossoms further. Brooke doesn’t know what to do with the money and Nina doesn’t either. They talk about possibilities over more wine, endless martinis. Brooke sobs into Nina’s shoulder at the end of the night because she has all that she needs but not all that she wants._

“I hate this”.

“You need to talk about it?”.

“Not yet. Let me finish this case, then I’ll tell you”.

“Whatever you need. You know that”.

_Vanessa._

_Brooke has met Vanessa at that point. Has fallen in love with her by then. But Nina still holds her and tells her it will be ok. She pours Brooke a glass of wine even if she tells her she doesn’t like it, and they laugh._

_Nina’s there, always has been._

_And she’ll continue to be._

*****

August in the city is nothing short of insufferable.

Brooke and Vanessa’s penthouse apartment has windows that stretch from floor to ceiling, wall to wall. It becomes a greenhouse even with the air conditioning and Vanessa complains like Brooke’s never heard; she tells her she’s from Puerto Rico but has the soul of a penguin and Brooke laughs despite herself.

It’s why when Nina calls late on a weekend, invites the both of them to her countryside summer home, Brooke agrees wordlessly. she doesn’t consult Vanessa but has no doubt that she’ll accept, gleefully. She’s proven right when Vanessa strolls in from the kitchen, ice popsicle in and and sweat dripping from her brow. 

“I want you to meet Nina”. Brooke blurts. 

Vanessa regards her with a frown, and then a grin.

“Ok”. She beams. 

“She invited us to her place next weekend, you in?”.

Brooke pulls Vanessa down next to her on the couch with a tug of her hand. A groan of protest leaves Vanessa’s lips. She’s too warm, and so is Brooke, but she sprawls out atop of her anyway. Her legs are kicked over the arm of said couch and she licks slowly at the popsicle that’s melting blue down her wrist.

“Does the bitch have better AC than this place?”. 

Brooke nods her head.

“Then I’m in”.

*****

They drive to Nina’s home in the red open top convertible that’s the newest addition to their collection.

Vanessa is behind the wheel and their shared suitcase is tucked away neatly in the trunk. Brooke has her bare feet propped up on the dashboard despite Vanessa’s protests, and there’s a sun kissed hand planted firmly on her thigh. Covering it with her own and squeezing it eases the panic that threatens to rise in her chest, briefly.

It’s grounding, and Vanessa diverts her attention off of the desolate road momentarily. She frowns softly at Brooke, and then remembers that she’s driving. She refocuses on the road ahead and Brooke grips tighter. 

“I’m scared”. Brooke breathes.

Vanessa’s thumb strokes across her knuckles and Brooke curls in on herself. She tucks her chin to her knees, pulls them to her chest and heaves out a breath. The car keeps moving but Vanessa has thrown her concentration out of the window. Her grip on the wheel is slack and Brooke lets go of her hand, just in case.

“ _Brooke_ -“. Vanessa attempts to soothe.

There’s a heart in Brooke’s throat and it’s not her own. She adores Vanessa so deeply that she carries it with her, gives it priority over her own that merely beats long with it. It swells in her chest and Vanessa reaches to turn down the volume of the radio.

Brooke is grateful for the quiet that it provides her head with. Her thoughts are churning quicker than the engine of the car, and the fleeting lanes that Vanessa casts her way out of the corner of her eye tells her that she knows. Vanessa gives her the time that she needs and Brooke speaks once more when they’re halfway along the road.

“I know Nina’ll love you”.

“Ok”. Vanessa nods her head.

And _ok_ , Brooke thinks.

“Because _I_ love you, and I love her too, and she just _will_ , you know? I have no fucking reason to be worried but-“.

 _I’m worried anyway._

“You’re worried anyway?”. Vanessa interjects.

“Yeah”.

Brooke admits it, openly. She’s known Nina for fifteen years and feels like she’s known Vanessa for as long. Their personalities align more than they differ yet Brooke’s palms grow sweatier with every mile closer that they get. Vanessa hums her understanding and reaches for Brooke’s hand once more.

“It’s ‘gonna be fine, you know that, right?”. Vanessa tries.

The sun is brighter just for a second, and then it dims again.

“Keep telling me that and I might just believe it”.

Vanessa repeats it until they pull into Nina’s driveway.

Tries to make herself believe it too. 

*****

Vanessa likes to think that her intuition is _good_.

So when they’ve been at Nina’s place for a little over half an hour, she becomes unable to ignore the gnawing sensation in her gut. 

Upon arrival, Nina pulls Brooke into a hug that appears bone crushing. She pulls away, then regards Vanessa with a pensive stare. She’s as tall as Brooke is and the height difference makes her feel dwarfed until those same arms are wrapping themselves around her, drawing her in.

Nina squeezes, tight. It’s so secure that Vanessa almost forgets to breathe, but Brooke’s hand that still hasn’t left her hip is comforting, reassuring. She’s the sense of normality that Vanessa searches for blindly in the dark of the unfamiliar situation; Nina’s mumbling _it’s so good to meet you_ over and over into her ear and Vanessa’s still sweating.

“It’s about time!”. Nina beams.

Her grip is gone but the feeling is still there.

Brooke’s hand has migrated to her wrist, and then travels further. Their fingers weave together seamlessly and then Nina’s leading them through to the living room. She has bowls of grapes and plates of minute snacks at the ready, flutes of champagne that Vanessa eyes cautiously. 

Brooke makes a beeline for them and Vanessa lets herself relax.

Until she’s unable to do so.

Nina is - she’s _wonderful_.

She’s charming, charismatic, friendly in a way that shakes Vanessa to her very core. She’s Brooke’s perfect counterpart and it _hurts_. Vanessa watches them interact in a way that she’s never had with anybody. Brooke keeps a hand interlaced with hers but keeps one brushing at Nina’s shoulder, too. 

It’s merely affectionate, Vanessa tries to tell herself. It’s merely platonic affection, affection that Nina appears to have hordes of. Vanessa knows that it’s something to be admired and not scrutinised for, but the twinge in her chest that screams jealously is enough to send her thoughts reeling. 

Brooke’s hand lingers on Nina’s forearm for a second too long, and it’s then that she makes her assumptions.

She doesn’t want to make it hard for Brooke, she doesn’t. She’d been worried enough, worked up enough during their short drive. But it’s hard to not do so when she can feel Brooke slipping away from her even as their hands remain interlinked.

They’re soldered together but they’re plastic, and Vanessa thinks that they’re on the verge of snapping.

Innocent touches that aren’t so innocent and friendly glances that aren’t so friendly.

“Ness, you good?”. Brooke checks.

_Yes._

_I don’t think so._

_No._

Vanessa simply smiles and slams back the remainder of her drink.

*****

Brooke regrets a lot when Vanessa’s smile begins to falter.

She watches her energy plummet and grips her hand tighter because she’s there. Vanessa looks like she doesn’t notice the deathly grip that Brooke has on her and blinks dumbly from behind her glass. 

There’s a veil between the both of them and Brooke wants it to disappear into thin air.

She knows that it’s not going to happen when Vanessa’s responses become short and clipped. Nina looks like she isn’t any the wiser but Brooke can tell that she notices. It gets to a point where it’s impossible not to, and Brooke send Nina a look, simpers pleadingly.

There’s instant understanding.

Nina leaves the living room for the kitchen and Brooke doesn’t know how it hasn’t come up in conversation before. Vanessa turns to look at her with a frown, forehead creased. It consumes her face and her eyes are bleary; Brooke’s quick to lift a hand to her cheek, cup it tenderly.

Vanessa still looks like she doesn’t notice Brooke’s touches. If she does, she says nothing, stares blankly ahead of herself. There are tears in her eyes that are turning them glassy.

Brooke thinks if she squints hard enough then she can see her reflection in them and it’s not a comforting thought.

She wants _Vanessa_ back in Vanessa’s eyes, but Vanessa is somewhere that she’s unable to pin point. Her hands begin to tremble in Brooke’s grasp but Brooke squeezes tighter, nods her head, and it’s then that Vanessa returns, if only for a moment.

“You two-“. Vanessa stammers.

“ _Yes_ ”.

“You two really-“.

“Used to”. Brooke clarifies. 

Silence hangs between them and Vanessa forces out a shaky breath. Brooke watches her attempt to centre herself but knows that it proves futile when Vanessa’s shoulders tense further. She doesn’t relax, isn’t able to, and Brooke wants to scream her apologies. Vanessa shakes her head in disbelief and then speaks.

“Did you think I wouldn’t notice?”.

Her voice is timid and Brooke hates it.

“That’s not-“.

But Brooke knows. She knows how her relationship with Nina appears. They’re touchy, talk intimately. They’ve known each other for a long time and Brooke’s unable to erase it. Nina’s been her right hand woman for as long as she’s able to remember and Vanessa’s looking at her like she’s a second thought. 

“What was it, _hm_?-”. Vanessa’s eyebrows knit together.

“-Exes? Did you guys date?”. 

Vanessa’s words are venom. A slow poison that tastes bitter on Brooke’s tongue. She swallows it down but the taste is still there, and Vanessa’s still looking at her like she’s had her world shredded into pieces, her heart ripped out of her chest. Brooke’s quick to shake her head but the damage has already been done.

“ _No_ -“. Brooke asserts.

“We hooked up now and again, always drunk and never anything worth dropping _this_ for”.

Brooke motions between them, speaks bluntly. Vanessa’s shoulders drop an inch and they’re getting somewhere, maybe. Vanessa looks up at Brooke and there’s a tear spilling out of the corner of her eye. She brushes it away before Brooke’s able to reach out, do it for her, but both notice, and Brooke’s quick to shuffle closer.

“Ness-“.

Her tone is hopeful and Vanessa blinks slowly.

“-I am so, _so_ ridiculously in love with you”.

If Brooke knows anything about Vanessa, it’s that she’s stubborn. And also has a habit of being jealous of things that she needn’t be. She’s working on it but the uncertainty is still there, and Brooke knows just from looking at Vanessa that she thinks she’s overreacting.

Only Brooke doesn’t think that she is, this time.

Believes that Vanessa has every right to be sceptical.

Nina walks back into the room with another bottle of champagne in hand and Brooke thinks that she’s an angel sent by god herself. She perches herself on the couch next to Vanessa, hands her the bottle wordlessly. Vanessa takes ahold of it with wide eyes and Nina chuckles, bumps their shoulders together.

Brooke watches the interaction with a sense of pride that’s unrestrained.

“Nina-“. Brooke chuckles.

“-Will you please tell Vanessa you’re not in love with me”.

“What?”.

“ _Nina_ ”. Brooke warns.

Nina flickers her eyes between the both of them. Brooke’s struggling to repress a chuckle that’s brewing in her chest and has her bottom lip tucked between her teeth.

Vanessa still looks down trodden even as she feigns a nonchalant smile, though leans into Brooke’s touch; they’re shoulder to shoulder with their hands conjoined and it’s familiar.

“God, _no_ ”. Nina laughs.

“But you two used to-“.

“Yes-“. Nina nods.

Vanessa takes in a breath.

“But, _god_ , Vanessa, I’ve never seen Brooke as happy as she is with you, and I’ve known the idiot long enough. I’m not interested in ruining that. She’s my best friend in the whole god damn world and there’s nothing I’d want more than for us to be friends too”.

Brooke’s response catches in her throat. Nina’s words hit her as hard as Vanessa’s tears that begin dropping to her wrist.

“Jesus”. Vanessa exhales. 

And they’re all crying, somehow. It’s a relief to Brooke and a weight lifted for Vanessa. Brooke watches Nina’s eyes that regard them carefully. She smiles, then, engulfs them both in an embrace that’s equally as crushing as the first of the afternoon.

Brooke’s heart swells with the love that she has for the both of them, beats out of her chest in silent declarations. 

“Fucking bitches-“. Vanessa interrupts. 

“-Made me ruin my mascara”.

*****

Ten minutes later, Brooke heads to the bathroom, leaves Vanessa and Nina to their own devices.

They share the bottle of champagne that Nina had retrieved from the kitchen and Brooke’s able to hear them chuckling amongst themselves. She stares at herself in the mirror briefly before rejoining them, grins unwittingly. They’re laughing, and they’re getting along, and Brooke’s never felt more content.

In love.

 _happy_.

“What are you two laughing about?”. She beams.

Nina and Vanessa share a pointed look.

“Do you _really_ have a bright purple strap on that I didn’t know about?”.

Brooke’s eyes widen comically. She knows that she must look a sight - makeup free face, blushing cheeks and slack jaw. Vanessa narrows her eyes and ushers Brooke towards the couch. Brooke sits wordlessly and with bated breath, turns her head slowly towards Nina who’s giggling, attempting to cover her mouth with the back of her hand.

She tries and fails

“Nina!”.

“What? You haven’t shown her yet?”.

Biting at the insides of her cheeks, Brooke shakes her head. She hasn’t. They haven’t. It’s never come up in conversation and Brooke’s beginning to realise that the same can be said for a lot of things. Vanessa huffs out a joking sigh and manoeuvres herself to sit on Brooke’s lap.

Brooke’s arms encase her waist and her words are mumbled into her hair. 

“Kind of forgot I had that, honestly”. Brooke admits.

It’s not a lie, but isn’t true, either. Brooke had forgotten that she owned it until a month or so ago.

She’d been reorganising one of her closets and had found it discarded in a box of old toys that had remained untouched for longer than she cares to admit. Vanessa had walked in on her rummaging through them but had said nothing.

Brooke didn’t ask if Vanessa had seen them, and Vanessa didn’t bring it up. It’s only with Vanessa blinking incredulously down at her that she realises that she can’t have. Vanessa isn’t one to keep things quiet, especially when they’re in anyway related to sex; she’s loud and obvious and Brooke loves her for it.

“You know we’re ‘gonna have to use it now that I know about it, right?”.

“Oh, of course”.

laughter still fills the room, and it’s coming from Nina. It echoes off of the walls and Brooke snorts at the blush that’s found it’s way to her cheeks, too. She presses her fingertips to them, futile, and Vanessa rolls her eyes, albeit good-naturedly. she twists in Brooke’s arms, drops the conversation, and turns to Nina with a smirk.

“What about you, boss lady?-“. she arches an eyebrow.

“-B told me about your divorce, you seein’ anybody?”.

There’s intrigue in her voice and Brooke’s unable to deny her curiosity. Nina’s mentioned things to her in phone calls and text messages that she hasn’t conveyed to Vanessa, just in case. 

But Nina’s half a bottle of champagne into the afternoon and her face ignites in delight; Vanessa looks at Brooke with an expression that says _I told you so_.

Brooke allows it.

“I uh - actually met this woman”.

Brooke squeals against Vanessa’s shoulder.

“ _Monet_?”.

“Yeah”. 

Leaning forward, Vanessa rests her chin in her hands. She encourages Nina to elaborate with a tilt of her head, cocks her eyebrow. Brooke’s right behind her and mumbles _tell us, tell us_ , until Nina looks like she has an answer prepared. Brooke abandons her glass that’s sat on the coffee table and takes the bottle from Vanessa’s hand.

Sips at it whilst Nina’s cogs turn.

“How’d you meet?”. Vanessa prompts.

“She runs a firm in Jersey, we met at a conference”.

Nina is bashful and Brooke is happy for her. Vanessa looks elated too, and chuckles lazily as Brooke passes the bottle back her way. She takes it gratefully and sips slowly. Brooke knows that all three of them are well on their way to being drunk merely an hour or two into the afternoon but laughs along, because it’s good.

“Two boss ladies, nice”. Vanessa sings.

“Hey, excuse me!-“. Brooke interjects.

“-You’re already sitting between two boss ladies”.

“ _Former_!”. Nina corrects.

But Vanessa doesn’t care. She’s looking at Brooke like she hangs the stars in the sky, paints them each by hand every night. Vanessa turns to look at her and places a barely there kiss to her lips. She tastes of champagne and grapes but Brooke goes back for seconds, because it’s Vanessa. 

Nina observes them in awe.

“Nah-“. Vanessa shrugs.

“-I still think she’s a boss ass bitch”.

**Author's Note:**

> as always I'm over on Tumblr @ silverhytes!!


End file.
